I wish it was as cool as it looks out here tonight. Aside from the stuffiness, my anxiety, and feeling on edge right now, the view is pretty amazing. 

No matter how many times i look at this beach (with the ocean receding) it always looks so alien to me. Something about the calm waves and the black chalk reef i think.

Deep breaths.

I cant stop thinking about her today. Everywhere I’ve looked my mind has found something to lead my thoughts back to her cuteness. Her pretty face.

I want to let it all out. How i feel, what i feel. But i have no one i can do it with. I just want someone to listen. I have a week off coming up (in about 2 weeks time – ish).

I might be meeting up with a friend then. Maybe we can help each other out. She’s having a tough time too. A problem shared is a problem halved right? 

Anyway, tonight the view does look like an alien landscape. And whilst it’s not far enoigh away from my own life for good measure, it’ll do to let me escape, mentally. For now at least…

I know i said i was trying to work up to sharing how i feel right now on here. Truth is im not sure im ready just yet. I still cant write the words without crying. I’ll try again sunday and early next week and see what i end up with. No promises – to you readers or myself.

Goodnight all. 

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