Today’s counselling session would have been my penultimate one, had it not been cancelled at the last minute.
I feel a little out at sea because, after this turbulent week, i feel i really needed today. To ask some questions and try to figure a few more things out.
Instead i have to wait until next week and try to keep myself stable in the meantime.
I shan’t lie, im a little worried about slipping again. I’ve managed to do alright since last Monday but everyday i feel like im being reminded of her. Im not trying to forget (E), or what i feel about her; im simply trying to put some distance between her and me always having her on my mind. It’s really difficult to do, because silly little things remind me of her.
But i have to try. Because if i dont i run the risk of being trapped loving someone who’s never going to love me back.
That last sentence hurts, a lot. So im going to leave things there.
I’m out a little later tonight, only because other things delayed my outing. Truth is as it gets closer to summer my hayfever will start to kick in. And i may have to stop these outings on the bad days. That sucks.
Anyway, i shall take my leave and try to get a good nights sleep for a change.
I really do hope i can keep myself stable!