The post that follows is based on a dream I had recently.
It’s just a dream but I’m sharing it because it’s been on my mind ever since – not least because it was emotionally draining.
I’ve tried to think about other things but it has stuck with me – most likely because of the emotional connection it played on. Stupid brain.
*Disclaimer: I’ve embellished the descriptive element for the sake of fiction. It was just a dream and whilst it was a very vivid dream, it was a bit jumpy. I’ve simply filled in the gaps and tried to describe what I remember feeling/seeing during the dream.
Walking together, the path was smooth and there is Kentucky farmland on the left, it’s fenced off from the path we’re walking, and a huge red barn to our right. The weather is slightly overcast but it doesn’t look like it will spoil the day too much. The grass is dancing around our feet as the wind picks up but again, it’s more captivating than concerning. As we stop to take in the scenery, I turn and look at her – she’s looking at me with those beautiful, penetrating eyes. The fields that weave off into the distance feel almost alien as they fade into the background in that moment, the barn sat almost movie-set-like right in front of more sprawling hills also seems unreal, like there’s something not quite right. It was the most breath-taking view, one made complete by the girl stood next to me.
She seemed to draw my attention without doing a single thing.
She has this aura about her, a captivating serenity just emanates from her, something that draws my eyes to hers regardless of the surroundings.
When she catches me looking she blushes, making her cheeks flush an even deeper shade of red, before pushing me playfully and asks “What?”. “Nothing” I reply whilst smiling, like an idiot.
At that moment, as if my brain knew of the pain it was stirring up, the skies opened. Not rain, which is what I expected when I heard the deafening crack of the lightning and thunder that now engulfed the skies above us, however, just as if out of some crazed Hollywood movie, down came these swirling vortexes of sweeping wind. They spiralled down as if winding their way down from the heavens themselves. We both just watched as the funnels swayed to and thro. When the furthest one touched down, what looked like a few miles away, it was awesome. Up flew what seemed like a tonne of dust and debris – it was both horrifying and captivating at the same time. Then a second one hit a few hundred metres off to our left, turning the crop-laden fields into an instant wasteland of dirt and twigs. As we jumped back in reaction, each of us grasped the others’ hand in fear.
Just then, in what felt like an instant reaction to our sudden movement towards one another, a third tornado-like funnel opened up – right in front of us. We clenched our hands and stood back, as I raised my hand to protect my face, and tried to pull her in closer for protection, the tornado touched land. And ripped us apart. It through me backwards and although it didn’t seem to hurt either of us, I felt shaken.
As we got up and dusted our clothes off, the swirling funnels seemed to have swarmed around us, not moving within a few feet of us, but always looking dangerous. I suggested we go back the way we came, she agreed and we walked back down the path to my home.
As we walked through a small wooded area, we came across a small gathering of families. They were all visibly shaken from something so we spoke not a word, we just kept on moving. She seemed to mutter something to me, but I’ve forgotten the words (or maybe she never did say anything – I’m no longer sure).
As we got back to my home, it was apparent straight away that this was neither my house nor hers. We had come across some dilapidated building, it had four walls, a roof, and several rooms and whilst it showed no real damage to it I couldn’t help but think it seemed dank and dingy like there was a cold musty scent clinging to the place.
It was just as we walked in that my family said they were going for a wander to the old power station, and asked us both if we wanted to come? We both agreed to try and go for a walk again, plus the idea of visiting an old abandoned power station was intriguing.
As we left, we spoke about random things, my family having gone ahead, leaving us to it. As I went to step over some rubble blocking my route up some dilapidated stairs, I stretched out my hand to touch the railing for support, as I was just about to touch the railing she shouted at me to stop. In shock, I fell backwards and was about to double over back down the staircase when, out of nowhere, she grabbed my hand. Our eyes met as she helped me back up. I looked at our hands and then reactively looked towards the sky – half expecting to be thrown aside for such an action. But there was nothing. I looked at her as she looked down from the sky too, and she said, solemnly, “there’s radiation here. You must not touch a thing ok?!” I nodded, she clinched my hand tighter and led me up the stairs to where my family were either playing or resting.
I let go of her hand and said I was going to tell them about the radiation so we could all leave. She waited by the door as I made my way over to my mother and brother. I told them they should leave because of the radiation but they paid no attention to me as if I was not really there. So I shouted at them to leave – again no reaction. I shook my brother and mother and screamed for them to leave, but they continued to go about their lives as if I was not there.
Her hand touched my shoulder, “Dan, leave it.”
I looked at her, then back at my family and I said goodbye. I walked out of the doorway and down the stairs. Her hand never let go of mine.
We made it to the bottom of the stairs and as we rounded the corner there was her car.
“Would you like to come to mine and hang out?” she said casually.
My heart was in my mouth. This was what I’d wanted, simply to spend time with her.
“I don’t want to assume anything, but It’s late and I have work in the morning. What did you have in mind?” I was nervous, this was new ground, and all I wanted was to spend time with her – I didn’t really care about work the next day.
“Well, I have a spare bed made up downstairs, and we have been getting on really well via text recently so, i just thought it would be nice to hang out? You can stay over in the spare room? If that’s ok?” She said, obviously nervous and a little flushed. She wanted to spend time with me too.
“Ok,” I managed to stutter.
“That sounds perfect” i said aloud as I smiled at her across the roof of her car, she smiled back and got in.
Right there is where I woke up. A tear on my cheek. And a splash of pain, mixed with guilt, washing over me.
I didn’t really know what to think about that dream. In all honesty i think i still dont. But it doesnt matter. Because it was, as strange as this may sound, a nice dream!
So, I’ll keep it in my memory until it fades. Until then, I’ll try my best not to torture myself with it!
Above I say I’ve embellished some of this dream. It’s done for effect. I’ve only added to it via some descriptive work. What happened, what I felt, and what I saw – that all happened.
I don’t read into my dreams and I won’t start now, but it’s hard to burn images that vivid and emotional from my brain. Then again, I’m not sure I want to.