Ok. So it’s safe to say that the break i had in mind for my 30th birthday was not at all like I’d hoped it would be.That’s partly my own fault.
But the truth is I’d not been looking forward to this birthday at all before i met (E). After i met her everything just seemed so much better.
And for it all to go back to the nothingness i felt before all that, well, it’s a little depressing and very upsetting.
So, yes, I cried the night before my birthday because i was upset. And yes, my actual birthday was spent alone and that was upsetting. Like i said: i should not have gone. I shoulf have stayed home, saved my money and tried to write something. I may have even bought that desk I’ve been after for a long time.
But i didnt do that. I went and spent 2 nights in a 4* hotel (the Commodore Hotel) in Lancaster Gate (Westminster) and ambled round the Natural history museum on my birthday – without a soul who knew me.
Needless to say, I’m glad I’m home!
Having said all that, i do feel an urge to write some science-blog posts. I may or may not get round to those, but it was nice to see i can still be passionate about something even though, right now, i feel passionless.
So i will enjoy the Marble Eggs i purchased from the British Geological Society (my old uni lecturer would be proud) and try to save money for that desk i desperately want.
At least now i can rest easy at home, and go back to my 8.30pm-9pm walks.
I miss the sense of peace they give me.
Also I’d like to add that I did not sleep very well whilst i was away. That sucked.