Why am i so alone?

I went into work to hand my note in. 

That was a mistake. I should have just posted it.

I know that because im now sitting in my aunts car, crying. I feel so stupid. So very stupid.

I hate people at work seeing me like this. Im such a closed off person, (E) excluded, and i feel so vulnerable right now. I genuinely feel like a complete mess. 

I hate my job, i feel insecure, i have no true friends, and the person who i was in love with has left me. 

I feel like im in a depressive black hole with no way out. And im scared.

Scared I’ll never feel good again,

Scared I’ll never have any friends,

Scared I’ll never be happy again,

Scared that I’ll never get to be with (E) again.

Im so scared and theres no one here to make me feel un-scared.

And it makes me upset. It makes me cry.

I wish i was strong. I wish i could be strong like (E) says i am. But im weak, I’ve given into the fear of being alone. And i dont know how to stop.

And its all crushing down on me.

My broken heart is in pieces. My happiness lays there shattered too.

My hopes and dreams all tangled up in a web of pain and confusion and i dont know where to go or what to do.

Why am i so alone?

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