As I lay here 

… i find it hard to let go. 

I find it hard to let my mind do what it wants so it can shut down and i can sleep.

But i worry too much.

I worry about going into work tomorrow to hand in my sick note. I worry about seeing people and being nervous.

I worry about what people must be saying about me and it makes me anxious. Terribly so.

I have stopped worrying about (E) mind you. If only because i know i wont see her anytime soon. I can build myself up to that moment when I feel better in myself i think.

I hate being a anxious, I’m upset at how much it rules me right now. Shaking arms, tight chest, nerves abundant, and to top it all off i cant think straight and just cry.

I really hate being anxious. 

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