I shouldn’t be here…

This morning feels weird. I should be at work right now but I’m not. Having been signed off for 2 weeks I’ve decided to try and sleep in, to gain some energy back, countering the restless nights I’ve been having. 

Last night i slept right through to 4am. Then 6.30, before finally waking up at 8.30. It’s not ideal by any stretch and my dreams were full of (E), as always, but i slept past 3am for the first tine in a while and if i can do that more often I’ll hopefully get some better sleep.

My dream about (E) was a made uo dream, not just a memory this time… We went for a walk by the sea and held hands. We stopped sporadically and embraced, hugging and eventually kissing. Not having this sort of relationship anymore, after having it there for such a prolonged time, is hard to deal with, emotionally – so it seems.

I imagine the dreams will calm with time, but these feelings are yet to calm. Although, watching films and otherwise burying them is working to keep them from my mind for a time…


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