Early in the morning…

I’ve just woken up, for the 3rd time. 

I woke at 3am, 4.30am, now 7.30am.

I simply cannot get through the whole night. And it is doing my head in.

I dont remember much of my dreams last night. I know (E) was only in one of them but i still woke up with her running through my mind. On a loop. 

It doesnt upset me directly because i still love her and the thougt of her still makes me smile. But, those thoughts do eventually lead me to a sad realisation and that does upset me.

I want to message her, but i know i shouldn’t. I know i should leave things. But i still want to just give in to temptation. 

I know i have to fight it but it’s just so damn hard.

I’m going to see if i have the strength to read the surprise i got her, i have a feeling that the sooner it’s edited and wrapped, the better! 😥

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