Here i am, about to go to bed.
Later than I’d like, but then this nervous feeling in my chest wont budge.
The trembling in my arm, which was maddening at the doctor’s surgery earlier, has all but gone and my mind is almost calm. Except the torturous thoughts about (E).
I’m feeling happier knowing i dont have to pressure myself at work but i feel apprehensive about taking the time off, I’m concerned about the best way to spend it.
I suppose i dont have to make any decisions just yet. So, i shall try to sleep on it and see how i feel tomorrow.
I still have (E)’s surprise to edit but im not sure im up to reading it just yet.
So, again, I’ll sleep on it.
I hope i can sleep through tonight, dreams or none, because i seriously need the rest. My mind feels so exhausted after last week.
And with me being signed off for 2 weeks, i can now finally focus on my emotions and thoughts of (E). I still need the help from the councillor to try and get past all this but at least it my ease the pressure of my mind and make it easier to deal with my emotions.
God only knows it’ll be nice not to wake up upset. Please.
Now. If only i could get these torturing thoughts of (E)’s pretty face out of my mind – just long enough to get to sleep.
Although, as painful as it is to admit, I’m not sure i am trying as hard as i should be 😥