Mental torture

God i hate my mind. 

It’s torturing me with thoughts of how she might need to talk. 

She hasn’t said a word so I’m assuming it wasn’t immediately important but i still wish i had the strength to talk to her like this.

In all fairness it would probably have just messed my mind up again. But it doesnt stop me worying about her. I know i have to let go. And try and stop myself. But its so damn hard.

I’m a caring person. By nature. And that intensifies when im in love, apparently. I worry about her because she is struggling with her emotions too.

Maybe stepping back tonight is what i needed to do for the good of us both.

But that doesn’t stop my mind worrying. Like a fool. Like a fool who cant yet let go.

I need this distance. For now. I just hope I’ve not pushed her away for the next time wek talk…

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