Pain. It hurts. A lot.

When you love someone, you love them with everything you have. Your body, mind, and soul. That’s what it feels like anyway.

When you’re told that you’re no longer allowed to love that person. When you listen to that the person tell you that they don’t love you back like you thought. That they cant reciprocate your feelings, when you thought they were doing so already. It breaks you.

I feel like someone has taken a hammer to my heart, turned it into scrap and then stomped all over it. I feel weak. My legs wobble when i walk. My confidence is shot. I dont know how to do this.

I’m not being dramatic either. That’s what it feels like. I feel a pain where my heart is when i think about (E), when i think about how much i love her. About seeing her. When i think about messaging her.

Nothing will ever be like it was. I’ll probably never have that with her again. And that is the single most depressing thought ive ever known.

And it makes the tears roll down my face.

How do you get over such an intense love? Because right now i dont see a way out.

I thought id balanced myself yesterday. And yet this morning im a hot mess again. I need stability. And its hapoening just yet.

I want to be balanced before going back to work tomorrow.

Why can’t it just work out?

Just this once 😥


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