When keeping busy isnt an option.

I wish i could freeze this heartbreak away. God only knows its cold enough around here.

Too cold for a head clearing walk. Far too wet and windy for me to get anything out of it other than becoming ill. 

And like i said earlier: i can do without that thank you very much.

My life is boring. Something im at peace with. Something i like. Something that helped with (E) because we like the same things. I like walks. I like cuddles. 

I like tea and/or hot chocolate in a chilled out bar before cuddling up for the night.

Does that mean i dont like going out to places? Well, no it doesnt. I don’t truly think its boring either. 

I think clubbing and a heavy nightlife is boring. There’s no fun there for me. 

I love walking in the city and country alike. I love taking in new sites and finding hidden little spots for tea and cake. I’d just prefer to do it with (E). 

So, i sit here on my bed, wondering what i can do to take my mind of the girl whom i am in love with. And i cant think of a damn thing.

Maybe i put too much of myself into this relationship, too soon. And now I’m feeling the repercussions of that.

I cant quite focus to read/write anything yet. So, I’m stuck trying to busy my mind with films and tv shows. Which stopped working sometime yesterday.

And to make it worse my head keeps flipping out. One minute im relatively chipper and upbeat – full of hope and faith. The next im low and out of motivation to even hope. 

The only thing remotely helpful is when i write a post on here. And even that is starting to worry and unnerve me. 

I think I’ll carry on using this blog though. I almost gave up on it yesterday. But i was wrong to. This will help me, even if it’s just to lool back on in the future.

Anyway ive now got to take the dog out for a walk. A short walk. But maybe that will help. It can’t possibly make things worse, at least i dont think it can.


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