Raw

Ok, so that last post was raw. I dreamt it. It was heart breaking. But then i dreamt something different.

It was about (E), or at lesst she was in it.

I’d killed someone and hurt my hand doing so. I knocked on her door for help. I knew who she was. But she had no memory of me..
She stitched my hand up and then we hugged and i went on my way. 

I got caught and arrested obviously. But the point of the dream, the bit that upset me was that she did not remember me..

I’m emotionally still a bit all over the place but that was exceptionally hard to experience. 

I hate feeling so low about it all. I miss her so much. But it’s over. I have to accept that and deal with it. 

I didnt wake up to tears for the second dream. I cried thinking about that reality. Of her not remembering me.

But i didnt wake up to tears. Thats an improvement i feel.

Anyway im off out this morning for a drink with a friend. Hopefully this will help set me up for a good day.

God knows i need one. 

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