Denile is a stage of grief.

Im not professing to be some sort of feeling-know-it-all. I cant even handle my own.

But that last post i published on here shows my denile stage of grief quite well. 

I dont want to think about never loving her and never being with her again because its painful.

But I’ll have to face those facts eventually, if I’m to get past all of this.

But, right now i think im aloud to have a denile stage. Because i cant get over this all in one go. I’ll need time. And plenty of it. The dreams will continue, I’ll have to deal with them, and the emotional turmoil they bring. 

But i need to force myself to keep strong. I’m not wanting to cry. I cried like a baby last time. But this time i need to be stronger. And really push myself through this.

I want to be her friend. I want to be in her life one way or another. But most of all i do want to be ready for another chance should the chance arise. 

Hope.

I’ll always live in hope.

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