Shattered pieces

I know it’s not going to get better over night. I know it will take time. 

But when half of me doesnt want to move on, and the other half is dying inside, where do i go from here?

Im scared of letting this go. Im scared that everything ive been through the past year or so was all pointless. I dont feel like I’ve improved – i did right up to yesterday. Now i feel like I’ve reverted to a time before this past year. Only it’s worse because im heartbroken and yet still deeply in love.

I simply don’t know how to deal with this. My heart is shattered, i feel so low. And yet all i can think about is how amazing (E) is. It’s like im stomping the shattered pieces of my heart into dust, and i cant stop it.

I just dont know what to do. I feel so lost. And nothing anyone says to me on the sunject seems to help.  😥

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