False hope

I’m sitting here at 6.20am. Going out of my mind in false hope. I keep expecting that message that signals a change of mind. Yet i know it’s not coming.

I don’t know why my mind is torturing me like this.

She doesn’t love me anymore. She’s not ready for the strength of my feelings or the relationship i wanted. She still has feelings for her ex. Why can’t i get that through my thick stupid skull? 

Deal with it. Start to move on please. Please don’t allow me to sit here and torture myself like this 😥

I don’t know why i keep expecting a message. Maybe it’s the romantic in me still hoping it will work out. Hollywood’s greatest lie: love conquers all. It doesn’t, it tortures all and breaks their hearts.

I think my problem is that i dont want to stop loving her. She’s perfect. And i miss her. And it’s only natural to wish for a happy ending.

Maybe one day I’ll get one, maybe with her. But not now. Not today. I just wish my heart would accept that.

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