The most difficult thing so far?
Fighting every inch of my being to stop from messaging her.
It is true that ive not been able to message her for a while now, but ive always been operating on the assumption things would be good in the end. Now i know they’re bad; well it’s even harder not to message her.
Ive stopped, and haven’t given in yet. I dont plan on doing so either. I need to stay strong as messaging her will not help either of us. And just hurt me more in the long run.
But the urge to do so and try to hang on to any little thread of hope is unbearable. I miss her, i miss how things were. I had such high hopes.