Not knowing…

I think what’s bothering me the most about the silence of the past week is the not knowing. 

I’m, by my very stupid nature, a worrier. I worry that I’ve done something wrong even when it’s probably nothing to do with me.

Yet not knowing whats going on, for example why contact has suddenly stopped between me and (E) is nerve-shredding. For all i know it could be anything. Literally anything.

But when all i want is to make sure she’s ok, its hard. Hard because i want to message her and see how she is. But I’ve done all i can. I’ve said i hope she’s ok, I’ve said im here and not to shut me out, and i said for her to message me when she wants to talk. But yesterday – nothing.
I hope it’s just her coping mechanism and that its nothing to do with me, but if it is, I’m stuck here feeling useless when all i want to do is help.

Im going out today to enjoy myself – well as much as one can when looking for a new pair of trainers – but all i can think about is i hope (E)’s ok.

I miss her. I miss talking to her. But when do i confront her and find out whats up? I dont want to push her away but at the same time i dont want her to not talk to me – oh the dilemma 😦

Addendum: please read knowing helps as it finishes the thought process of this post…

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