I really need to sort my worry-first ask questions later attitude out.
I spoke to (E) this morning and shes drained. From being ill recently and just generally run down. Which means she needs a little space and time to feel better.
I don’t know why i didnt think about that – actually i do, its because im an idiot and worried id upset or annoyed her.
And thats my problem. I worry I’ve upset someone rather than realise they have issues and ways to deal with things.
Does that make me selfish? I think it does, but I’d like to think its not from a selfish place. I have things i need to work on. Everytime i realise this, i realise it a little sooner than last time. I hope that means im making progress.
I suppose not knowing doesnt help in all fairness – but i should have realised she’d be drained (at the very least from being ill) and need some space – when she started being a little distant i should have put 2 and 2 together.
I suppose its true what they say about being too close to something and not seeing whats right in front of you.
Well I’m making this post so that i can look back on it and remind myself of this fact. I will improve, i will be better.
For her sake but also, more importantly, for mine.