Missing her…

I miss (E).

More so today. 

We’d planned on only talking every other day. To try and slow things down. But both of us are at fault for us speaking every day this week..

But today we agreed we needed to tey harder.. We both want this to work and we have to try and stick to our plan. Our ‘rules’. So today, after our good morning, we’ve not spoken at all. 

I don’t know if what we’re doing is healthy for us both or not. All i know is that we both believe we can get back to how we were in time. 

And that last line ^ is exactly why i am smiling right now, instead of feeling sad. Because the girl of my dreams, the one girl who loves me as much as I love her, is still there. Thats pretty darn amazing.

I find it hard some days, to feel the confidence she gives me, when shes not there. But then i remember the messages she’s sent me. And i smile, raise my head a little and feel happy. Because, for all my lack of self belief, there’s someone out there who truly believes in me. 

And that, that is very special indeed.

So i sit here, working on my short story (science fiction) and poem (romance, obviously) with a happy heart. 

We might not be where I wish we could be, but in the very recent words of a very wise young lady “good things come to those who wait” – and she’s right. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt anywhere near this happy in myself. And I tread carefully because of a plethora of potential ‘too-good-to-be-true’ traps 

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster but, in reflection, sometimes you have to run so you can learn to walk…

So, that’s what im doing: learning to walk. Then, when it’s time to run, I can keep my balance…

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