I’ve been overthinking the past few days. Uncontrollably so.
So I thought I’d put it to good use. I over thought and went through every date I’ve ever been on with my girlfriend. It was very hard at first. It was emotional and extremely difficult.
But then I hit upon something. Somehing I think might have triggered this all off. Something I can fix. And funnily enough, something I’d worried about and was abouthe to fix before all this happened.
I can attempt to fix it now. But if I’m wrong it’ll make things worse. So I suppose I have to wait. But this makes things worse and better.
Worse because I want to put her mind at rest and can’t. Plus, if I leave it too late no matter what I say it might fall on deaf ears.
Better because I now know what might have gone wrong.
I should not say a word until she is ready to hear from me. I know that. But this urge. To right a possible wrong is so strong.
My mind, something she’s said she adores is something, I feel, plagues me…
How can I be so in love and yet so heartbroken at the same time?
Addendum to this post: I misremembered. I already said, at the time, what would fix this. So, I’m back to the starting point. Bugger it. Bugger my brain.