There are times when, no matter your wants in life, you simply cannot control what happens to you.
Recent weeks have devastated my self-confidence and I really don’t know where to go from here (see my previous post for more information on that).
But what I can do is write. And sometimes it helps. I promised a poem a little while ago, but never followed through. Mainly because it was terrible.
So rather than share something rather poor, I started again – from scratch. It’s titled “How does one Unfeel?” and is meant to put across my apprehensions for both how I feel, the joy of feeling what I feel and then finally not wanting to feel these things any more…
Have a read, hopefully you get that, but no matter what you take from it, I hope you enjoy it…
How Does One Unfeel?, by Dan. R
My life whilst blessed with truest of love,
Is destined to fade, like the mourning dove,
My heart it feels more, its vastness is grand,
It echoes one sound just like a steel band,
A love that tortures, and winds up the soul,
Before it does give, and turn into a hole,
Just heal me my torture and take away my pain,
When loving and losing, there’s nothing to gain,
But her beauty is striking, her eyes so green,
She leads the parade and is my May queen,
The feelings subside, if only for a while,
But they always return to haunt my smile,
I want it gone, I know what I said,
But when I lay awake there in my bed,
It travels to me and stays all night long,
It’s a love that fills me, just like a song,
But the song it fades and is now distant,
I thought it would stay yet it remains resistant,
To my request of a reciprocation,
Oh how do I leave it? This situation,
Is driving me crazy I know not what to do,
Why, oh why does it have to be you?
So I search all day long for a way out of this maze,
But my eyesight is shrouded by a dense cloudy haze,
Whenever I see her my senses are blurred,
And those feelings I hide from become once more spurred,
With secrecy my weapon, the way that I control,
I try again to hide it all, and push it down the hole,
In my heart and in my soul I try to keep it buried,
And hope one day that if I’m lucky away it can be ferried,
To love and to lose is far too real,
I wish I knew how I could unfeel.