I know nothing.
I sometimes wonder if I was born to another time or place. I don’t understand how people work. At least people not like me. I’m a nice person. I know that. Its what I want to be. I don’t want to be an arsehole, and if I’m honest I don’t think i could if I tried.
Its just not in my nature. If someone asks for help, and I’m able, I will help them. If someone is upset or angry I’ll try to calm them down and help them.
Yet for all my kindness and helping others I simply don’t know how to quantify rude or obnoxious people. I get people that are socially awkward – I am pretty good at noticing the difference between a shy person and a rude person.
So there are times if I wonder about being built for a more historical time. A time when things were simpler, life was shorter, and people were generally nicer… Then again I could just be romanticising the past I’ve read about…
I’ve had a pretty good week, I felt better in myself, smiled and even laughed at times. I’ve kept my mind busy and just chilled where I can.
I felt good. Not great, but I was at least in a good place…
Then I left work tonight. And as I walked past the staff canteen, there she was. It’s just a shame she’s also the one person ignoring me and treating me as if I don’t exist. Problem is I have to spend most of my shift tomorrow with her working pretty much right in front of me (curse whoever designed my workplace)…
So I have to handle it. Reign in any feelings and shut down. For nearly 8hrs. Unless she decides she’ll speak to me or smile at me or just simply acknowledge my existence…
Whatever happens I think I’ll need the following 10 days off, that is something I do know!
