Post #21: So close, yet so far…

I have 10 days off soon. I have to work 4 more 8hr shifts and then I get a whole 10 days off. And it’s not a moment too soon!

I sincerely need this time off and I’m fully aware of how desperate I am for this time off. I know that sometimes life isn’t all roses and sweet things but recently I’ve been an emotional wreck and combining that with my not so fun job it’s been tough. It could be worse but for now it’s been tough.

I’m not a bad person, I’m probably too nice. I’m naïve to think the best of people and if I let my defences down I get hurt because of that. I need to learn from everything that’s happened in the last couple of weeks and really move on with improving myself for the future. Deep, I know.

So basically I feel ready to move on. On from all of the bad and into what will, hopefully, be the good. Well at least better!

My 10 days off are not perfect, I don’t get paid until the friday, but I’ll make do with what I have. I have planned at least 2 days out, one to an art gallery with a friend, another with ‘K’ – although I’m not sure when or where that is – and then the rest of the time I will try to find places to go and write. Whether the latter will be poetry or my science fiction novel has not yet entered my mind. I’ll decide depending on where I end up!

I know there is a nice harbour a couple of towns down, and with a train journey of only 10 minutes I can reach a couple of other seaside towns – for variety.

So you see I have plans to keep myself busy, to do the things I want to do, and this makes me feel happy and content. Something I’ve not felt in a long time!

I need to find my calm and doing that means burying my head in that which makes me smile: Writing and friends. Truer words and all that!

So roll on the next four long and, possibly, awful days and let me sink my teeth into some well-needed time off! I want to smile right now!

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