Post #19: being shunned…

Being shunned is the worst feeling…
So I feel like I’m nearly there in regards with putting those walls back up.
At least I thought I was. I was so close. Yet today was a true test. A flying visit from the girl. I was talking to ‘K’ like I always do, and she walked up and said something to her. Had a laugh with her and was normal. But I got nothing. Not even a quick glance. Like I wasn’t even there. It really hurt. It took every inch of my self control as I tried to hide it.

Right in the gut!

I quickly finished my chat with ‘K’ and said my goodbyes. I didn’t say goodbye to her. I couldn’t take being shunned or even worse getting that faked half smile again.

Here’s the thing: I just don’t get how someone can be that cold. I mean she was the one who said we should stay friends, I’ve tried but just getting ignored gets pretty old, fast. Not to mention it’s the worse feeling I think you can feel as a human.

How do I deal with that? I can’t argue with that. Fight it off or just shrug it off. I want to pull her to one side and ask what the hell I’m meant to have done to deserve being treated like that. I want to draw a line under everything and try to move forward but then this happens and I’m back to feeling like rubbish and I’m lost. I have that ache in my chest again and have to try and deal with that and how I now feel in the aftermath of it all.

Maybe I should message her and just ask her outright? Maybe I should leave it and try to get over the shunning behaviour? I just don’t know anymore!
I did message ‘K’ and ask her opinion. Hopefully she replies. I just want to go back to never liking her. It was much simpler!!!


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