I hate clichés. I mean seriously who falls for them anymore? You see films like Bridget Jones’ Diary (1 or 2 it doesn’t matter – they’re pretty much the same film right?) and Love Actually and people just assume dialogue like:
Super-attractive or loveable Woman: “Why do you love me you don’t even know me?!”
Dashing English Man: “I know you’re beautiful, funny, smart and [random compliment based on an individual trait the woman has shown everyone]… I love you super-attractive or lovable woman!”
Super-attractive or loveable Woman: “Oh dashing English man! I love you too!”
Kissy Kiss Kiss, followed by happily ever after (unless there’s a sequel in which case the same thing happens again for a reason that simply makes no real sense)…
So do you see the issue? Over used generic compliments like “you’re beautiful, funny and smart” are kind of romantic, but they’re certainly not original! Sure they are probably true, but if you want to show someone you care about them, even love them, then surely you’ve noticed things about that certain someone that maybe hasn’t been covered in the last generic chick flick/rom com you saw?
Her laugh, her hair, smile, walk and posture. Her general demeanour and things like having little dimples when she really laughs. All these little things are borderline cliché I give you that, but they’re more original and will probably make the person feel a lot better about themselves than just having you being one more person to tell her she’s beautiful.
The fact is something you like is possibly something they don’t like about themselves, and by telling them the truth, that you find this trait attractive, you will boost their confidence. It might not always work in your favour but everyone likes a confidence boost. I know I would right now!
The way I see it, is that when you first start liking someone there are little things they do that are so cute/sweet/hot that you just fall for. Things you notice until your dying day (or the relationship ends before it begins). You cannot un-see these things.
The first girl I ever like had this little shoulder shrug she did that melted my heart. I’m over her – well and truly – but I won’t forget that it was that one little thing above all else that always drew a smile from my face – no matter my mood.
With other girls it’s been things like their smile – one girl had a smile so full of joy you just couldn’t be anything but happy when she smiled. Another had this smile where she’d almost bite her tongue – sounds weird but it was the cutest.
These things are all important and whilst you feel you must say someone is beautiful, like a broken record: she’s probably heard it all before, and from someone a lot smoother than you too!
That’s not to say I didn’t think everyone I ever like wasn’t beautiful, I’m sure at the time and probably still do about some of them, I thought exactly that. I most likely told them all that (it wouldn’t have been a lie). It’s what you do. I do feel compliments like ‘you’re beautiful’ are needed, don’t get me wrong, I just think if you’re in a make or break situation, leave the mediocre behind and go for something original. Start with ‘beautiful’ but then move swiftly on to things you like about her, let her know you’re talking about her and not every girl you’ve ever liked!!!
This girl at my work, the one at the root of my current head-spin, is no different. Yes she is stunningly pretty. And yes she is funny. But her laugh just makes me smile. Her smile is so cute it melts your heart and her voice, well her voice has the power to captivate even the most ignorant of people. If I were ever in a position where saying these things would be acceptable behaviour (as if that’ll ever happen) I’ll keep away from relying on the clichés and tell her the truth. Yes I think she’s beautiful and amazing in every way, but I’ll also tell her how her smile makes me feel, and how hearing her voice is remarkably soothing.
I suppose my point is that whilst it’s all well and good telling someone they’re beautiful (sometimes this is a nice thing to say to a girl, I get that), the chances are if you think that so do countless others. And if one of those people is more confident than you then chances are they have almost certainly said something. So you need to be different and show her your personality. It’s something I never got to do this time around, but it’s something I will always attempt to do if I get the chance.
Disclaimer: I know ‘Cute’ is a bit of a dodgy area for some women, but we men can’t help it if cute is attractive?! Cute can be as good as sexy/hot/fit. In most cases it probably means more!